Corcaigh, 10th November 2009
The authorities in Cork, more commonly referred to as ‘shades’ or the ‘5-0’ are growing increasingly concerned over the reputation of one of their most respected local GAA players, a Mr. Dave Barrett from Kinsale.
“Dilly-Dally Davey,” as he is fondly known by local GAA aficionados, caused bloody riots and mass suicide in rebel country earlier this year when images of him playing soccer – “foreign games” – were circulated in local media.
Barrett emerged after weeks in hiding to claim that he had been framed. The pugnacious Corkman, in an exclusive interview from his pimped-up Toyota Yaris, claimed an unknown copycat sportsman had imitated him in an attempt to besmirch his standing in GAA circles. A visibly shaken Barrett, unshaven, shaggy-haired and surrounded by empty pizza boxes, broke down live on air, but later vowed to fight back.
Latest evidence suggests that the man that the police originally thought to be a ‘one-off’ impostor has struck again, this time overseas in the Benelux country of Belgium, most likely in its capital, Brussels.
Concerns initially arose last year when a young man, whose resemblance to Mr. Barrett was striking, was spotted playing what can only be described as ‘foreign sports’ in an unknown location. Sadly these concerns have now been heightened as recent photographs sent in through interpol have revealed that the impostor has struck again, his desire to seriously dent the Corkman’s impeccable GAA credentials clearly even more passionate, as he has even matched Mr. Barrett’s most recent hairstyle down to a ‘tee’.
At this point in time the police are keeping Mr. Barrett in a secured location and have requested him to cut his hair in the hope that this will throw the culprit off his scent.
When asked for his thoughts on the matter, David replied:
‘Well, like I don’t know like, he’s a right gowl. I was too busy meetin yer wan anyway and would never play foreign sports like. Corcaigh abu’.
Above is the latest photo of the impostor that the authorities have: